Time

I don't know why I'm having such an "age crisis" this week... nothing in particular prompted it that I know of... perhaps seeing part of "13 going on 30" the other night. I had a sudden realization that it's been close to 10 years since I was 13. Talking to a friend yesterday, we were appalled to realize it's been SIX years since we finished highschool!! That's longer than I was in highschool! Actually, since I don't know exactly when I entered highschool, but I graduated in 2000, it's probably twice as long as I was in highschool...All of a sudden 22 is feeling very very very old. I can't believe Marybeth turns 19 in a few weeks. I'm still 19 in my head! Someone recently pointed out to me that when I mention my siblings I am continually changing their ages... I'll say "my 14 yr old brother" one day and my "13 yearold brother" the next day... I keep everyone rather confused as to whether I have a 11 yr old brother or sister, since Hope is still 11 in my head too! I just nearly typed that I can't believe we're about to have 6 teenagers in our family, but then I realized Naomi and I are no longer teenagers! AHHH....WOW, 6/8 of the kids being teen or older?! I'm already having a crisis about Nome's birthday… since we're somehow the same age in my head, I feel like I'm turning 25 next year, and the thought is incredibly frightening. I think all the changes in the past 4 years since I first really "left home" are just now catching up with me. I have Jon-Jon's age down because of repeating it a lot in Peru, but everytime the words "my sixteen year old brother" come out of my mouth, my heart skips a beat. How did THAT happen? Someone asked me about our Christmas traditions the other day... I'm so looking forward to us all being together for Christmas again....

In a conversation about the painfulness of confronting others about sin in their lives and speaking the truth in love...risking the relationship etc...a friend who is the youngest of 5 children said to me "It's especially hard to confront when it's your family." I responded that I didn't really know since everyone was still so young and I'd never really had to do that. I realized later that the "youngness" wasn't really the issue. Considering I had my first "confrontation" experience when I was 12 and it was with another 12 yr old.... Considering by the time I was 15 I had lost numerous friends cause I was the one willing to say what no one else said... Considering 5 of my 8 siblings are all above the age of that first experience... it's not because they're "young" that they haven't "screwed up"... It's because--first--they have the same parents keeping them from screwing up that kept me from screwing up.... And--second--we are so incredibly blessed.

Anyway, I really should work... but I was just thinking about seizing the day and how quickly time passes...and how incredibly much I love my family...